Stay
by ladybugsmomma
Summary: This is a one-shot told from Olivia's POV. She deals with her feelings about hearing Elliot has quit. Takes place after the season 13 premiere.


**AN: Hey guys! Well, this little one-shot popped into my head a few days ago and would not leave me alone. I hope you all like it!Please leave a review and tell me whether or not you did!  
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><p><strong>Stay<strong>

Pacing back and forth in the interrogation room, I kept hearing the captain's words ring through my ears again and again. I can't believe that he actually did it. I can't believe he didn't talk to me about it. After twelve good years as partners, he leaves me like this? I should find him and tell him how I feel about that and tell him to shove that resignation up his ass.

I know that shooting that girl practically killed him too, but he could've talked to someone about it. It's not like he hasn't killed, or thought he killed, a kid before.

Olivia, stop that! That is cruel to think! I just can't handle this! I can't take not working with him and then he doesn't want to talk to me!

I miss him. I miss our bond. Working this case with just Munch, Fin, and the new girl, Rollins, everything just seems off. There's no witty banter between me and him, no arguing, and no chance for me to calm him down after he loses his temper towards the perp. Why did you do this Elliot?

I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I quickly wipe my face of any evidence that I had been crying as the door opened to reveal the newbie standing there.

"Oh, sorry. I was looking for the file room," Rollins said. I looked at her.

"It's down the hall on the left," I said, my voice sounded heavy. I hope she can't tell that I have been crying.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Shit, she did!

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said smartly. I keep trying to lock everything away in the Elliot box that I had let come out quickly before anything came to the forefront.

"Okay, thanks. See ya," she replied and turned to continue to the file room. As I listened to her footsteps get further and further, I let out a deep breath that I had been holding.

I straightened myself again before heading out to the squad room to pack my things and go home. The others were at the bar, but I didn't feel like celebrating the win we had. I just wanted to go home and so I did.

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><p>I walked into my apartment. There were still dishes in the sink from last night. My clothes were piling up and case files littered the living room floor and table. That wasn't what shocked me because everything was the way I left it when I got the call about the case, all except for the man sitting on my couch facing the door. I couldn't believe it! He actually came here!<p>

"Hey," he said. I snorted. After what he put me through that's all he can say?

"Hey, seriously Elliot? That's it?" I snapped at him, "I have been so worried about you and then Cragen tells me you turned your papers in and all you can say to me is "hey!"

"Liv, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out that way, but there was nothing I could do to stop it," he replied.

"Bullshit! There was plenty! You didn't have to quit El! You could've talked to someone! You could've talked to me!" I yelled at him. He was pissing me off even more with this crap!

He hung his head and I knew that my words had hit home.

"That was it, wasn't it? You don't trust me enough to talk about it?" I snarled. He snapped his head up to look at me.

"No, that's not it! I trust you, Olivia, with my life! I just couldn't take the job anymore! After killing that girl, it was the last straw! I was broken and nothing you could've done or said would've fixed it," he replied with sadness and anger in his eyes. I'm guessing the anger was from me accusing him of not trusting me, but that is how I felt.

"El, I don't know if I can do this without you," I said. What a minute? Where did that come from? I'm supposed to be angry with him!

"Yes, you can Liv. You're strong, stronger than me," he said. I studied his expression and noticed that he hadn't been sleeping and his clothes seem to hang from him. Some of his muscle mass was gone.

"El…I missed you," I said as I felt the tears coming again, "I lost it when Cragen told me."

"I missed you too," he replied as he stepped forward and pulled me into his arms. I wrapped my own arms around him and held tight. I never wanted to let go, but I knew that I would have to eventually because there was no way that he would stay. His mind was made up and there was no changing it.

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind?" I asked anyway knowing that it was inevitable.

"I'm sorry, but no. I can't take the job anymore. It's taken too much from me already," he murmured. I pulled back and saw the sadness again.

"She did it, didn't she?" I asked knowing what his answer would be.

"Finalized day before yesterday," he replied, "She's moving to Arkansas with the kids. She got sole custody."

"Oh El, I'm so sorry," I said. Here I was comforting him when I'm supposed to be mad at him. What is the matter with me?

"I can take losing her. I felt like I lost her so long ago, but I can't take never seeing my children again," he said. He sat down again and put his head in his hands.

I sat down next to him and put my arms around him. He moved his hands to wrap me into another embrace. I rubbed his back soothingly as I squeezed just as tightly as he was. I loved this feeling, but hated what caused it. If only he knew my true feelings towards him. Stop that! The man just got out of a divorce! The ink is probably not even dry! He also just lost his children, and that means he doesn't need to jump into another relationship, but I can't help the way I feel towards him. Maybe if I tell him, he'll stay with me. That way I won't be alone. With him there at work, I was never alone, but now that he quit, the loneliness has never been more overwhelming. I can't do that. I just can't tell him.

"Olivia, I have to tell you why I felt as if I lost Kathy so long ago," he said as he pulled out of our embrace. I looked to him, all ears.

"Well, she and I had our share of problems before Eli, as you know. She had gotten so distant from me. I couldn't talk to her without fighting and yelling and she hated it that I was almost never home. She thought it wasn't because I worked so much, but because I was with you. I tried so hard to tell her that that wasn't the case, but no matter how much I tried to prove it wrong, I wanted it to be right," he said.

I stared at him in pure shock. What exactly was he trying to say?

"Liv, I loved my wife, and I still do, but she's not you. You get me and you know every secret I have that she doesn't. What I guess I'm trying to say is, I love you, Olivia," he said.

I almost passed out as I heard those three words leave his mouth. He loves me? How could he? I mean, I know that I've loved him for quite some time, but I knew that this love could never be. Oh, he's looking at me and expecting a response. Um…what do I tell him? My head says no, but my heart says yes.

"I love you too Elliot," I replied. Did I just say to him what I think I just said? Oh my God, now what?

He leaned forward and I felt his lips press into mine. That was it. I had no logical reasoning. I just felt like pudding. He tasted so sweet. He was so warm. I could stay this way forever! He began pulling back. No! Don't go away! I put my hands around his neck and pulled him tighter to me as our lips met again. It was like fireworks had set off. My skin was tingling. I felt the love he poured into the kiss and I poured just as much back. He broke it off and I was upset that his warm lips left mine.

"I never knew," he said, "But now, maybe, we could give us a chance?" he asked.

"I don't know. If you can promise one thing…" I said. He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Stay, and I don't mean at the job. I mean, stay in New York. Stay with me," I said. He smiled.

"I think I can manage that," he said. He kissed me again and I've never felt so at home.


End file.
